Letting Go....

I'm going to admit it...
I'm *not* doing well.
I'm *not* okay.

BUT

I feel at peace.
I know it's what is meant to be.
I know this is what happens eventually.

My brain and my heart aren't matching up here.

My Best Friend is moving 194.14 miles away. 3 hours 12 minutes away.

Sunday my little sister moves to Indiana and out of Ohio. My one time "baby," one time pest, and most recently... my best friend. I'm freaking out a little bit... I keep telling my brain that this is what is meant to be, that she will be fine, and that she is going to succeed beyond all measures... but my heart is so sad. My heart is missing her, already.

So, as therapy, I wrote this letter...

Dear Ashley-

I’ll be honest, I’m sad. I’m sad that you are 18 years old. I’m sad that it makes me even older (blah). I’m sad that I won’t get to see your beautiful face, as often as I get to now. I’m sad that we might not stay as close, as we are now. I am sad that you are growing up and don’t “need” me as much as you once did.

I. AM. SAD.

BUT

With that sadness, there is great happiness! I am so blessed to have you as my sister. I never once thought of you as anything less than my “full” sister. There is nothing “half” about our relationship or our sisterhood. Since the day you were born, and you were placed in my arms, you were my full-fledged baby sister. (umm…even that day I accidently dropped you. My bad. Sorry!)

There is happiness in my heart, knowing that you are succeeding in life. You are intelligent, confident, and an amazing young woman. You have such a heart for the Lord, and such a desire to grow in Him, and that is (and always has been) an inspiration to me. I am thankful that the Lord has given you such a loving heart and that you have allowed Him to shine through everything you do!

I never knew this day would be so hard. I feel as though one of my own kids is going off to school. I suppose in a way that is true. I took it upon myself to “mother” you in many ways. From changing your diapers and insisting upon feeding you, when you were a baby; to going on college visits and actively being a part of everything. I am so thankful for all of those days. I am so thankful you allowed me to be a part of those special times.

Dear sister, best friend, and beautiful woman, I wish you the best in this new chapter of life. I pray that the Lord lifts you up and helps you shine, in all that you do. I pray that you have fun, learn lots, and strengthen your being. I pray that you build strong, lasting relationships, with fellow believers; that you impact many, with your wisdom and charisma; and that you exude greatness, in all areas of your life.

And this verse just keeps popping up everywhere I turn. The Lord has shown me this verse, and He has had me use it with many areas of my life, and others’ lives and now I feel it is to be used by you. Pray this when you are weary. Pray this when you feel like you can’t study one more minute! Pray this when you are homesick. Pray this:

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

You will soar on wings like eagles…..

I love you, forever-

Brittany