Usually I write about my life: my kids, school, husband, being sick, etc. And not that I don't enjoy sharing about my life; I tend to not talk about the most important aspect of my life: my spiritual life. Allow me to preface.
At church, this last Sunday, our pastor spoke on excuses, and why we don't share more about our relationship with Jesus Christ.
So, what's my excuse? I don't have one. I just don't share.
(Keep reading. I'm not going to "shove God" in your face, I'm just going to share my story.)
So we were encouraged this week to share our story, to share about being a saved person, being a follower of Jesus, with someone, or in this case with.... MANY people.
From the beginning-
I didn't grow up in a faithless home. We went to church, we spoke of God, and I even prayed sometimes, when I wanted or needed something. I wasn't a "bad" kid, by any means. I was a good-doer. I wanted to please everyone. I wasn't sinless, but I was a good person.
My grandfather was a pretty high official in our church, a reorganized church of Jesus Christ and Later Day Saints. I was a reorganized Mormon. Well, kinda... I had absolutely no idea what any of that meant. I went and heard stories, in Sunday school, I was baptized by my grandpa when I was eight, I took communion, I was a good person... I assumed that's all it took to know who God was; I was so naive.
There were many things in my life, that were broken. My parents were divorced, I used eating as a way to hide behind myself, I looked at myself as a good-doer, but I craved being one of the bad girls, and I spent a lot of time looking for that missing piece of my heart, in all of the wrong places.
When I was fifteen years old, I couldn't handle being "the fat" girl anymore. I was 180 lbs, at 5'2". I wanted to date, I wanted to be noticed, I wanted to be popular, I wanted to be someone different. So I started a vicious cycle of bulimia and working out to an extreme. I lost weight. A lot of weight. I went from 180 to 140 within just a couple of months. I.WAS.THRILLED.
Thankfully, I got smart. It took me a few months, but I finally started a healthier way of losing weight. And it took me a couple of years, but I did finally get to a healthy weight and a healthier way of living. That's when I started an even more vicious path of sin...
At this point in time, we weren't going to church anymore and we weren't practicing any sort of "religious" ANYTHING. I'm not saying my parents didn't instill morals or goodness into my life, because they did, but I didn't have a foundation of God's love to show me the right and wrongs of life.
I'll share more about my path, later this week.... Thanks for reading up to this point. :)