Thursday, June 4, 2009

Why It's ok for me to be a *itch.

Yes, people. You saw that right. I....Brittany....have used a naughty word. No, I don't curse normally, because it's just not who I am... and well... it's just nasty and not nice.... but today....TODAY... I feel that this posts deserves a little nasty. Why? Because. I. AM. NASTY.

That's right. Pregnant Brittany is really a very unkind person. Ask my husband.

Why am I unkind? Well...let's make a list:

1) I puke a lot.

wouldn't you be mean if all you did was hug a porcelain toilet? It's cold. It smells bad. and's just plain CRAPPY (ha ha ha).

2) I have zippo energy.

I can't walk 5 steps without being tired. It's sad. I'm not even large and in charge yet, and I am exhausted. Not cool. Makes me mad.

3) I have very little patience for....well....everything.

When I am tired and feel like crud, I have no sympathy for people. I know. It's mean. But you know what? I am suffering and feeling like crap, too. Suck it up and move on people.... Did I mention complainers suck, too? Don't complain.

4) Food is my nemesis.

Enough said. I like to eat. Not eating...makes me mad.

5) When I do eat, I crave bland and gross food.

Again- makes me mad.

6) My husband smells terrible.

Ok. He doesn't really. But whatever crap he is putting under his hairy arms is well... repulsive. Hugging him makes me want to puke. Don't worry...he's aware. He thinks I'm mean.

7) My kids are loud.

Are all kids this loud? Have they ALWAYS been this loud? grr. too loud.

8) Why can't Matty just pee/poop on the potty already?

Changing his diapers... KILLER. I gag and almost puke, every single time. One time... I had to leave his naked little body, so that I could puke. sigh.

9) My house is being neglected.

If you know me... you know I like a clean house. My house...not so clean. Makes me mad.

10) The room is always spinning.

It takes me forever to get from point A to point B. Sometimes this is bad. Do you know what a pregnant woman's bladder is like.... on the THIRD pregnancy? I have very little time to make it, before peeing my pants. This...makes me MAD.

So there you have it my friends. That is why I am a *itch. Grr.


Mommy said...

Good Lord Brittany!!!!

Blueberry said...

i want you to know this made me laugh out loud... which also makes you made you mad, i'm sure, but i can't help it! ;)


Lilith Silvermane said...

Yes.. I might have peed myself reading that!


I think it's sooo funny that your hubby thinks you are mean.. it's not your fault he smells (I had the same issues when I was pregnant)

Not being able to eat would piss me right off as well!

Be a *itch!


UDMom729 said...

I so get it, I really do. The only good things about being pregnant are the excitement and the baby at the end. Everything else was awful.

Do what you need to do to get through it! You have the ultimate excuse, IMO.

Hope the 2nd trimester treats you better...

Super Kristen said...

I love this post... LOL... but I hope you feel better soon.

Kat said...

Mmm-hmm. I can relate. I don't know why, but for this entire pregnancy my hubby's breath smells like sausage. It is revolting. It makes me want to smack him. Just about everything makes me want to smack him. Poor guy. ;)

Hang in there girl!

My Goodness said...

So sorry for your issues and discomfort...really.

But what a great post! :)

Hope it eases up soon...

4 Little Men and Girly Twins said...

oh man girl! Praying that you start feeling more like yourself soon!


Arizaphale said...

I am still laughing over your mother's comment! hahahahahaha something my mother would have said, except she wouldn't have stopped there :-D
You know what? I think men's deodorant in general smells disgusting. Himself has challenged me to find one that I like and he will wear it. I found a chocolate scented one the other day....oh but that's food and that would probably make you puke too.
HANG ON HOUSEHOLD! It's gonna be a bumpy ride for awhile.

jessicamarie12 said...

Whew... I am glad I am not having kiddos :) You poor thing!!

Kelli said...

you poor thing, Hope it all gets better asap

Christina said...

You poor thing!!! It probably doesn't help any that I'm laughing at this post, huh?

buckeyemomma said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I AM ROTFLMAO!! You asked for it sista. Welcome.. again, to motherhood. Ain't it a joy! And no, the kids DON'T get quieter..they GET LOUDER AND MORE ANNOYING EVERYDAY. Then they hug you and tell you you're beautiful, and you feel better. lol And I know it doesn't help and pisses you off for us to laugh at you.. but yeah, well.. suck it up and get over it! ;) I LOVE YOU SOO BIG! And I'm just happy that I get to FINALLY come and visit my new "niece" without being preggo myself!! YAY TO NEVER AGAIN BEING THAT SICK! LOL xoxox ~M

Maggie said...

Ha ha ha! I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you, I promise!

Sorry that you're feeling so crummy. The medical me says get a prescription for some Zofran and then alternate that with Benadryl to try and make yourself feel a little better.

And the non-medical me says that I am going to cross my fingers that you feel better soon!

Lilith Silvermane said...

Thanks for helping endorse the Marrow Donor Registry!

I was thinking today about how I met my bloggy Mom friends.. and I realize that I met you through your "Pay it Forward" blog... Kinda makes me smile... !


Stacy said...

Awww...hun...I hope you feel better really soon. That darn "morning" sickness is a killer, especially when you have other kids at home. Big ((((hugs))). I remember when I was pregnant with Anya and had to work all day, then pick up Kai and I would just lay on the floor when I got home and let him crawl around me (he was 8 months old). It just really question about that!

Maya said...

Hope you feel better soon! And you have every right at this time to anything you want to be! :) said...

I will give you permission :)

Elaine A. said...

I'm sorry you've been so sick. I can't relate to that as much but the rest of it, yep, you pretty much nailed it! ; )

Hope that first trimester is almost over...

Trannyhead said...

I feel your pain on the stinky husband. I made mine stop wearing all his aftershave type products after telling him they smell like bugspray to me while I'm pregnant. *shudder*

Lakinaya said...

we on the same so2 horrible, something i normally ate now my enemy, hate the taste! but trust me, after few weeks, u will ok.