Of Health and Self-Pity

Remember how I listened to all of you loyal readers, friends, and family and I went to the doctor for my endless episodes of illnesses this year?

Well, I got the call yesterday; something isn't right. I'm not really going to go into much detail, because I don't know a lot yet. I just know that I have to go back on August 28th to have a biopsy done of some abnormal tissues, that were found. I honestly don't feel too uneasy in my heart, I feel calm and I feel like God is right here with me.

Andy said a beautiful prayer for me, last night, and I think that's where my calmness lays. He asked God to be with us, whatever the outcome may be, and that His will is carried out and that we will see HIM in this all.

I'm such a baby when it comes to my health. There, I said it. I don't like to address issues, I like to avoid even going to the doctor, and I pretend nothing is wrong when it really could be. When I actually succumb to my illnesses, then you know it's pretty bad. But once I do succumb, I tend to whine, sulk and go into the world of self-pity.

Today, is apparently no different. Last night, I didn't sleep one ounce. Last night, I sulked and stewed over the information I received yesterday.

For some reason, in my gut, I knew there might actually be something wrong with me so I tried to weasel my way out of every appointment, and then the doctor canceled one of the appointments, and that's when I knew something had to be wrong. Because that's how things work in my life, when they are put off it's usually because I don't want to hear the outcome.

I've learned something already: do not avoid situations! Whether I am afraid of the outcome or not, I need to learn to take better care of myself. Maybe, just maybe, learn to myself first for once! We'll see how long I keep this learned lesson! ;)

I'll keep you all updated.

Thanks for reading, friends!